Playing Poker—and Dress-Up

The latest in my continuing quest to do every challenge in The Dangerous Book for Boys with my sons in a year…

One of the first things I learned about The Dangerous Book for Boys is that it isn’t just for boys. A friend of ours was visiting the other night, and so her six-year-old daughter Cielo pulled up a chair with my sons and me for a few hands of Texas Hold ‘Em.

I had played cards with Hank and Gabe before and I could explain the rules to Cielo fairly easily. Beginning on page 198, DBFB provides instructions for two poker games—Five-Card Draw and Texas Hold ‘Em. (It also gives an excellent pictorial on what hands are highest and lowest—the highest being a royal flush and the lowest being nothing, no pairs, but with an ace high.) The authors, Conn and Hal Iggulden, strongly urge playing for money because “there is no risk in throwing all your matchsticks into the pot—and therefore no chance to bluff.” But seeing that Cielo was a novice and I didn’t want her to go off crying to her mom because I had taken all her pennies, I thought it would be wiser to do imaginary gambling.

“Fifty million dollars,” I said when it was my turn to bet, pushing in all my non-existent chips.
Hank immediately upped the stakes. “I bet 500 million billion,” he said.
“500 million billion million gabillion,” said Cielo, laying waste to all of us.

Actually, it was kinda like the federal government. Fifty million billion here, five hundred billion gabillion there. Pretty soon it begins to add up.

Having played Five Card Draw many times before, I knew the rules; not so with Texas Hold ‘Em, a game I did not know. In fact the next day I realized that I had been playing it and teaching it wrong because I hadn’t read the instructions in DBFB as carefully as I should have. The way I got straightened out was by watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN. Watching poker on TV with your sons is not a recommended activity by DBFB, but I thought it was okay to make an exception in this case. I had been dealing seven cards to every player—wrong. Instead you deal two cards face down to each player—“the hole” cards, as they’re called. Because the other players do not see what these cards are, they are called “the blind.” (I love the language of the game.) You bet the blind. Then the dealer delivers The Flop—three cards face up in the center of the table.

These are communal cards, in a sense, viewed by every player in the game to form his hand. Next comes the fourth card up, or Turn card, which is dealt in the center with the Flop cards. Then comes the fifth or final card, the River, so beautifully named because those five cards lying face up on the table really do resemble a sort of stream or flow.

Each player forms his hand by combining his hole cards with three of the communal cards, five cards in all. Betting begins with the blind and occurs after the Flop, the Turn and the River. There are lots of gambling opportunities—and if you’re playing with children and not careful, an equal number of opportunities for those smiling young faces to dissolve into tears if their money goes away.

Another thing I learned by watching poker on TV is that it’s an opportunity to play dress-up—just perfect for kids. Professional poker players can wear sunglasses and any sort of headgear they wish, and most of them do. The next day (after Cielo had left), my sons and I sat down again and each of us adopted a new look: Gabe in sunglasses and a balaclava pulled down over his face like a bank robber, Hank in sun glasses and Halloween mask, and me in swim cap and goggles. It wasn’t long before Gabe and I shed our costumes but not Hank. He kept his shades on while playing just like the professionals. A nice look.